Episode 30: Caregiving During a Pandemic
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Covid Caregiving
As if life weren’t difficult enough for us caregivers now we are doing it with the additional stress of living in a pandemic.
It’s as life was like - nope things aren’t difficult enough for you - let’s through another roadblock in there and see how you do!! Your loved one has cancer and you’r already worried about them living a long life so let's throw something else at ya and see if you can survive it.
Right?
If you are caring for a love one that isn’t able to work, or to function in a way they would like, they probably don’t want to be stuck in the house any more than they have to. But now just taking them out to go for a walk is a challenge and could be life altering. So many of us know what quarantining is and what staying safe at home is especially if our loved one is immunocompromised. But not being able to go out to do things they enjoyed doing. To not be able to take them for dinner or to the movies as an escape from the real world is tough.
Yes it’s hard for the entire world. But this podcast isn’t for the entire world it’s for caregivers and I say that it makes life a lot harder and the world feel a little more dangerous than it already had. My husband needed to have surgery to remove a cancerous lymph node this past summer. If you are a caregiver you know that means multiple visits to doctors, to facilities for diagnostic testing and oh….. A HOSPITAL!!!!
I think surgery is scarier now because being in a hospital is scarier. The rules and protocol are hard to keep track of. Which tape line do I have to stand on? How many times do I have to look someone straight in the eye while they ask me if I’ve had specific symptoms including Diarrhea?
The mask wearing
The hand sanitizing
The second guessing
The worry five days later if that sneeze was because you held the pepper shaker too close to your nose or did you catch covid at the doctors’ office.
Yes, everyone is going through this but we are going through this on top of the overwhelm we are already experiencing as caregivers. I know I stand in a position of quasi protector when I am in full caregiver mode. Meaning when something has changed in my husband’s help and something needs to be done to change that. So I get angry when there is another threat that I feel I have to protect him from. Not only that but I don’t have the energy to keep everything together and I know that I have to make sure we are protected when we leave the house so I have to find the energy to make that part of what is non negotiable in our lives right now.
So know that, yes, Covid makes things much more difficult for us as caregivers and it adds a threat we don’t necessarily have the energy to shield our loved ones from but we somehow have to. Having that said, protecting our loved ones from Covid because caring for them and helping them handle their health concerns is something we took on DOES NOT MEAN you cancel Dr appointments. Especially if what they are living with is life threatening in itself. Sure it feels counterintuitive to go to a hospital or medical facility right now. Yes it does really suck to get a covid test before going to certain appointments. However, Cancer doesn’t wait for Covid to go away. Diseases don’t wait. They go at their own pace and some times things progress fast and other times they don’t. But you have no way of knowing because you aren’t a doctor. I know a lot of us have more than enough knowledge from our experiences to feel we could be one but we aren’t.
So make sure they go to their appointments. If you are worried about going call the doctor and ask them what their covid plan is. Believe me everyone has one. Some doctors will allow the patient to come into the office with them and others will not. Some hospitals will allow one visitor and others don’t. No matter what, the doctors and nurses don’t want to catch Covid either. They want to stay safe and they probably worry about how much you might be putting them at risk too. So both sides have the need to be safe.
If the doctor won’t allow anyone to go in with the patient and you feel that your loved one won’t be able to make decisions or won’t be able to remember what was said, then talk to the office and - politely - ask if there is something that can be done. Can an exception be made? Or can they call you from the office via a video call so you can be there and hear what is being said and be able to ask questions? Or if that isn’t a possibility, can someone transcribe the meeting or at least write down the important information? All with you being able to follow up with questions later.
It can be done safely. Over the past three months I have spent long days inside the Mayo Clinic buildings going with my husband to different offices for scans, oncology and surgeon appointments. He spent a week in the hospital and I stayed in a hotel the entire time and we were fine. We’ve been back to Mayo for follow up appointments and diagnostic appointments and we’ve been ok. Everyone there wore a mask. The medical professionals made sure their protocols kept everyone safe. Covid testing was done before visits and surgeries and we were diligent about wearing our masks and using hand sanitizer.
So yes. It’s extra on top of the heavy burden you are already carrying. However, if you have appointments scheduled you need to go. You don’t want to find out later that things would have been better if they were caught sooner.
Stay safe.
How has covid affected your ability to caregiver? I'd love to hear about itl
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