Episode 20: A Caregivers Wish

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In a perfect world I would have someone decorate my house for us before we get back home from a surgery. 

I’d have them fill the house with flowers. 

 Hire someone to cook us the perfect meal. 

 It would all be silent. 

 I wouldn’t have to tell anyone how it went. 

We would all talk with our eyes and if the gravity of it all hits anyone during this time there would still be no words. The person would be given the space to cry, to yell to scream out of fear and anger and we would all hold them with our eyes. Giving them their space and holding their space at the same time. 

The food would be perfect and fill our bodies up with exquisite tastes. Everything at the right temperature. Plates taken when done, cups refilled. Dessert, mostly chocolate. Anything chocolate.

 Then a bath or a shower or both. 

 No noise. No beeps, or monitors, no doors slamming shut or people talking. No anticipation when someone is heard walking by the door - thinking  - will we be able to leave today?

 Just quiet. 

 No words needed to make things better but hugs, kisses and holding hands. No need to fill the quiet with anything. No one is mad, no one needs to make the other person feel better. You feel better because you are both back home and no words of encouragement need to be said right now. 

 You can both just be. 

 Letting it all seep in that we are home that it wasn’t a dream or a nightmare it was real but you made it through the doubt, the fear, the exhaustion and you brought your person home. 

 After the shower you emerge into a perfectly cleaned room filled with beautiful things and a turned down bed. You slip in and in the quiet you look at each other and know there will be more but right at that moment, with the love you have in your hearts for each other, everything is perfectly perfect. 

 And you fall asleep in silence.  

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