Episode 158: Find Your Voice: The Healing Power of Singing and Humming for Caregivers

Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Spotify

Three years ago when I started wearing a mask in public I realized that I would sing all the time. 

Maybe it felt like I was hiding in plain sight. Or no one would be able to figure out who was singing because we were all wearing masks at the time. 

For years I sang in public sometimes not even noticing it.

I didn’t sing in an effort to get someone’s attention. I wasn’t belting out Lizzo songs in the middle of the grocery store.

I sang, to soothe myself. 

Now I don’t usually wear a mask in public anymore and I still sing. You can find me humming and singing along with whatever is playing. Maybe I know the words… maybe I don’t. I do it instinctually everywhere without even noticing it sometimes. 

I do like singing on purpose… opposed to humming and absent-mindedly singing in a store. I love putting up a karaoke playlist on YouTube and singing it out with my daughter. I play music at home often and sing to it and before I moved to Chicago I would have a playlist of music I loved singing to in the car. 

Singing makes me happy, it makes me sad. It makes me laugh or it brings me to tears that slowly spiral into an ugly cry that takes my breath away because it’s finally time to let it all out. 

I sing when I don’t feel seen. I sing when I want to use my voice but feel stuck. 

I sing to care for myself. 

It fits so many needs. It helps me in so many ways. 

I don’t care if I’m not good at it. I know I won’t be a contestant on American Idol or get a record deal.  

I just like to sing and hum. 

There are studies that show singing and humming have health benefits. The most important benefit for caregivers is that they are able to reduce stress. 

I don’t need a study to tell me that. 

I know that I feel better after I hum or sing. 

Sometimes I use it to reset myself when I feel stuck in a thought or an emotion. If I need to transition from let’s say, being on hold with a Doctor’s office to making a meal, singing helps me move forward without taking the frustration of that call with me. 

Humming, especially, is easy to do. You don’t need to know the words or the tune to do it. Although most times that is even a requirement I need to sing. But humming doesn’t even need to be to be a tune. It can be just one sound. 

Try it… if it helps imagine you’re a bee. Just humming and buzzing around. 

Try it out for just a couple of seconds. You can do it really low, no one will notice. 

Come on… hum just a little bit. 

The vibration I feel when I hum is exactly what I need sometimes. Maybe when you just hummed right now you felt a vibration in your throat, your chest, or even up into your ears. Did it tickle your lips or your nose?

How did it feel? 

I get that humming can feel silly if you don’t usually do it. Singing can bring embarrassment or make you uncomfortable. 

I think you’re able to do uncomfortable things. You’re a caregiver to start… that has caused you to be uncomfortable in many different ways. 

Music plays a pretty big role in my life. I hadn’t noticed until recently how I have playlists that help me get through things. 

I literally have a walk-out playlist to get me motivated to do something hard. It’s full of songs like “Thunder” by Imagine Dragons, “Seven Nation Army” by The White Stripes, Lil Jon’s “Turn Down for What” and of course “Lose Yourself” by Eminem. 

I have playlists that feed my soul, that give me a reason to sing as loud as I can, that make me laugh, that make me cry that bring me back to myself. 

Sometimes I sing… sometimes I hum. 

I hear, so often, that doing something fun as a caregiver, doing something that brings joy, that releases stress… is difficult. 

There’s never enough time in a caregiver's day to stop to do something for themselves. 

I get it. 

Good thing you can hum while doing anything. You can sing going anywhere. 

Don’t make it difficult. 

The song you sing doesn’t have to be anything recent. Sing a song from when you were a kid. Your favorite one when you were in high school. What was the song you loved?

My two favorite songs were “All Cried Out” by Lisa Lisa Cult Jam and “Alone” by Heart. 

I would sing these all the time, especially in stairwells. I’d love how my voice would bounce off the walls and make it sound bigger. 

What song do you remember? 

What tune can you hum?

I use music to motivate me.

When I REALLY don’t want to make dinner, or even do anything in the kitchen, I’ll turn on some music. If I need to get up and move but would rather sit all day I’ll play some music. If I want to think and focus and block out all the other noise in my head I use music. 

All specific to the task at hand I use music to help me move through my day but what helps me the most is when I sing and hum with it too. 

I know you feel you’re always being told what you should be doing for yourself. 

I’m not telling you that you should hum and sing. It isn’t going to change the fact that you’re a caregiver. It won’t solve the issue of having medical bills that need to be paid or deciding if mom needs to be put in a facility. It won’t change the fact that you’ve been robbed of the possibility of having a care free life with the people you love. 

Singing and humming can’t change that. 

Caring for yourself isn’t about changing the realities of the life you’re living. It’s about creating resilience and providing you the opportunity to pause and breathe. 

Singing or humming can bring you joy, it can make you happy it can cause you to forget about your problems. You need that break even if it’s just for a couple of minutes. It doesn’t cost you anything but breath to try it. 

Give yourself a chance to try it out. See how it feels for you. If you already listen to music take a moment and sing with it. It turns the passive act of listening to the active act of singing and can create a moment for you that you didn’t know you could have. 

Singing can feel ridiculous… so can humming for that matter. Maybe you need some levity in your life. Maybe being silly is exactly what can lead to a smile that can turn into a chuckle that can turn into an actual laugh. 

Take a moment to let go.

Take a chance and try it tonight when you’re in the shower or when you’re walking down the hall. Sure someone might ask you why you’re doing it. Or they might want to know why you’re so happy because for some people humming and singing is an activity you only do when you feel happiness. 

Maybe you don’t explain… maybe you look them straight in their eyes and sing to them. I believe keeping people on their toes is a good thing. Doing something out of character especially if it’s being silly doesn’t usually go wrong for me. 

Who knows, maybe they’ll start singing with you. 

I’d love to hear what your song or songs of choice are. DM me on Instagram if you follow me there @loveyourcaregivinglife or email me if you receive my newsletter or through the link at https://www.loveyourcaregiivnglife.com

Thanks for listening.