Episode 10: Can You Sleep in a Chair?

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Sleeping in a chair is a miserable thing to try to do and if you’e a caregiver you’ve probably had the opportunity to take part in this horrible exercise in futility. 

I’m not talking about a plush arm chair. Imagine waiting room chairs with the cloth covering to try to trick you into thinking it is much better than sitting on a metal folding chair. …. It’s not.

The first surgery my husband had set the bar too high. He has had multiple thyroid cancer surgeries after his thyroid was removed and I haven’t always been lucky enough for him to be assigned a room with a comfy place to sit beside him.

I’m going to start to complain now but let’s take a break and set some expectations here. Maybe you’re thinking it wasn’t too bad. I didn’t have surgery. The least I could do is just deal with not being able to sleep. If that’s what you’re thinking let me ask you - do you have a bed in your room or a straight fairly hard chair? 

It’s almost like not feeling like you deserve to get comfortable is one of the first initiations into being a caregiver and we don’t even notice that chair breaking our spirit!

So let’s be real. Sleeping in a chair is close to IMPOSSIBLE! You can pretend to sleep in a chair. You can close your eyes and nod off and for some reason feel it was great you got 20 minutes in. Sure we can all function with 50 minutes of sleep. We can stay alert and make important decisions without any sleep. Right?  Wrong!

I feel my experience in the hospital is always the event that flips the switch for me on how I take care of myself. That’s right. Myself. There’s a team of nurses and doctors watching over my husband when he’s in the hospital so taking care of myself should have always been top of the list during surgeries. 

Before I realized that, I slept in chairs. 

Do you remember how much your body hurt after trying to rest in a chair? I’m not even going to say sleep anymore because that never happens. 

Your whole body feels like you tried to make it smaller over night. Everything is tight. You're back hurts your legs hurt. You have pressure marks in weird parts of your legs and arms. One side of your neck is cramped because you tried laying your head down to one side. Your legs hurt and your ankles don’t even bend enough to be able to walk normally. You basically wake up with your head leaning to one side, bent over and shuffling to walk to the bathroom. Good thing my husband was on pain meds while we were there, now that I think about it. Geez if he would have seen that in the morning he might have pushed the call button for the nurses to come check in on me. 

That’s the thing though … he had a call button and I didn’t. 

Often times we are the ones that show up when the call button is pressed in our lives, as a caregiver. We minimize our needs and feel that it is wrong to want to get a good nights sleep or a good meal. Taking a break and walking away just to clear our heads seems impossible. I know! I was there. After a few days of being in the hospital with my husband trying to be the one to keep things together, understand what the doctors were explaining to us and keep a record of everything I found I slowly began to lose my ability to think, problem solve and form questions in a moments notice. I wasn’t able to do the things I planned on being there to do. I wasn’t able to function. The worst part is I was already sleep deprived before we even left the hospital only to go home to try to keep it together. 

After a couple of those experiences over the years, I realized I had to get as much rest as possible. For some surgeries it was easier than others. Some times you have to get a little imaginative or know what to ask for. I hope these suggestions work for you.

Here are some solutions to the chair problem if staying in the room is your only option. 

First you can ask the nurse if they can have a recliner or cot brought to the room. Some hospitals even have small roller beds they can wheel into the room for you. But ask for these things as early as possible. You aren’t the only one who will want one. They usually won’t have one set up for you before you get there because the room you get is the next one available at the time your loved one is ready to be moved. 

If they can’t find one for you ask them if they can get you another uncomfortable chair and two sheets.

Here’s why… You can use one sheet to tie the chairs legs together and use the two chairs as a make shift bed. If you can use a wall or window sill to put your legs up on that works better. But if you don’t you can use the chair back of one of them to put your legs up on. Worst case scenario - you can use both the sheets or blankets on the floor and the chair to put your legs up on. 

Some tips for using a chair to sleep on.

It isn’t easy to gracefully get  into or out of a chair bed. So try to do it when no one is in the room. I have actually pretended to be asleep when a nurse came in because I was about ready to try to get up and didn’t want to do it with her there - that’s just too much pressure.

Try to use one of the sheets to cocoon yourself on the chair. If you let your arms hang your whole upper body will burn the next day.

If you can have your feet raised it will really help your lower back.

If you put your feet up on something don’t let it be the hospital bed. You don’t want to be in the way of the night nurse. If you are sleeping on the floor put the bag you brought with you and place it about 2 ft from your head so at night you won’t be overlooked

Sound enticing? 

Of course not! I’ve already told you this is ridiculous. But as caregivers we often find ourselves doing things we would never have done as our former selves. 

Remember, you have to push your own call button and then show up for yourself. Even if you have people helping you!

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