Episode 145: Winning At My Caregiving Life With the Christmas Decorations Still Up

Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Spotify

Show Transcript

I’m sitting here writing this to you on the second week of January and I have a confession to make… my Christmas decorations are still up. 

It’s as if time stood still after Christmas Day and we are in a perpetual state of the holiday when usually we are skipping into the New Year just happy to make it through the year that just past.

You see, the problem is, the tree being up signifies something is off. 

Things are not going to plan.

The constant reminder that a chore needs to be completed is both frustrating and upsetting at the same time.

Maybe it isn’t your holiday decorations that are the problem but there is more than likely something that needs to be done that the health of your family and the weight of caregiving has made it difficult for you to do. 

Do you have a pile(s) of clothes that need to be washed? Snow in the driveway waiting to be shoveled? Most of us have a household chore that really should be done but just isn’t going to happen right now. 

Christmas decorations in the middle of January may seem like the least of a caregivers worries. You’re right! That is exactly why they’re still up. 

No one in my household feels good right now and all for different reasons, including me. So, even though it is really starting to bother me that something I would have done the first week of January is still on my mental task list it’s taught me something.

I’ve grown as a caregiver!

Years ago I would never have let holiday decorations stay out for so long. No matter what was going on in the house I would have caused myself to become overwhelmed by trying to put decorations away when it could have waited. Seeing them up this late would have sent me into a spiral of how drastically awful my life had become since my husband's cancer came into our lives with as much internal drama as a soap opera. All while trying to look like I had everything under control on the outside. 

However, as years have passed and I’ve become better at caring for myself I’ve also learned how to prioritize and set boundaries. It’s come together as a decision tree that lives in my head that has become almost effortless to go through. 

It’s simple… 

Do holiday decorations affect my ability to care for my family? No 

Do they affect the health of my family? No

Does having them up make my house dangerous? No

Is there a good reason for not doing it, including how I’m feeling, the amount of energy I have, and would put them away take the energy that I need for something else right now? Yes

So there you go!

The decorations stay up a little bit longer. I’ll use the energy I need to do the things that are really important right now (tending to my husband and daughter as well as myself). I am sure that once I’m feeling better everyone else will be able to help as well. 

Most importantly my Christmas tree isn’t staring me down telling me I’ve failed this year. It’s direct proof that I have an important caregiver win and for that I am grateful! 

This isn’t just about procrastination and Christmas decorations. This is about prioritizing what is most important for you and your family and not letting everything else weighing on you. There’s a lot that doesn’t get done that we wish would. The important part is not letting it weigh on you. 

If you have that pile of clothes waiting to be washed but that is the lowest priority right now then let it sit but also don’t let it bother you. I think there’s a difference between not doing something and being stressed out about it and not doing something because it is not a priority and simply being ok with that. 

Me realizing that my Christmas decorations are still up and not being upset about it is a win. Not forcing myself and my family to put everything away because of an arbitrary deadline I’ve traditionally set for myself only to end up arguing and upset with each other is a win. 

Being able to find comfort and nap with the warmth of the tree lights is a win.

The win could be returning your neighbor's dish empty because even though you usually give a person’s dish back with a baked good in it as a thank you caregiving is overwhelming and you just can’t bake anything right now. 

Or maybe you usually clean the snow off the driveway as soon as it starts falling but you just can’t do it today and you know tomorrow the sun will be out and melt most of it… so you don’t worry about doing it. 

The important part is understanding it not only isn’t important to get it done right now but it’s also not important to feel bad about not doing it or worry about what other people think. 

It’s so freeing to let go of putting yourself down for not getting something done that clearly, you don’t need to do right now. 

I know what you’re wondering…

Will the tree become a valentines day tree? Absolutely not, that’s just not my thing.

Do I still turn on the lights? Of course, that would be just weird. LOL

Finding ways to live your life on your own terms and doing things as you can, is an important caregiver lesson to learn. Being able to make decisions that are best for you and your family and not based on what others will think is important. 

I know it’s hard to do but my tree is proof it can be done!

Thanks for listening.